Good films to use for the relationship deepening exercise
This is the list of films from the movie relationship self-help exercise (explanation and instructions here.) You can use any other movies, as long as they feature two people sincerely trying to solve a relationship issue and show the day-to-day dynamics. So pure romcoms, or films about falling in love, are not necessarily suitable.
(1) The 20 most films couples found most useful
You can stream these in many ways. Links are to Bristol’s very own independent video rental shop , 20th Century Flicks, still open in 2024 though without fixed opening hours.
American beauty ♥ Funny Girl ♥ Before Midnight ♥ Two for the road ♥ Obsessed ♥ When a Man Loves a Woman ♥ Husbands and Wives ♥ The Marriage Chronicles [Not released in the UK]♥ I Give It A Year ♥ Hope Springs ♥ The Way We Were ♥ Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind ♥ Yours, Mine and Ours ♥ Out of Towners ♥ The Five Year Engagement ♥ Her ♥ Children of a Lesser God ♥ Fools Rush In ♥ Four Christmases ♥ Dying Young ♥
Runners-up:
Marley and Me ♥ Father of the bride ♥ This is 40 ♥ Love Story ♥ Couple’s Retreat ♥ Devil’s Advocate ♥ Forget Paris ♥
(2) Full list of movies used in the study
Links here are to IMDB.
American Beauty (1999) Kevin Spacey and Annette Bening
Anger Management (2003) Jack Nicholson and Adam Sandler
Autumn in New York (2000) Richard Gere and Winona Ryder
Bee Season (2005) Richard Gere and Juliette Binoche
Before Sunset (2004) Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy
Blue Valentine (2010) Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams
Coal Miner’s Daughter (1980) Sissy Spacek and Tommy Lee Jones
Couples Retreat (2009) Vince Vaughn and Malin Akerman
Crooklyn (1994) Alfre Woodard and Delroy Lindo
Date Night (2010) Steve Carell and Tina Fey
Deliver Us From Eva (2003) Gabrielle Union and LL Cool J
Devil Wears Prada (2006) Anne Hathaway and Meryl Streep
Devils Advocate (1997) Keanu Reeves and Charlize Theron
Family Man (2000) Nicolas Cage and Téa Leoni
Fatal Attraction (1987) Michael Douglas and Glenn Close
Father of the Bride (1991) Steve Martin and Diane Keaton
Fool’s Gold (2008) Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson
Four Christmases (2008) Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn
Her (2013) Joaquin Phoenix and Amy Adams
Hope Springs Meryl Streen and Tommy Lee Jones
It’s Complicated (2009) Meryl Streep and Steve Martin
Julie & Julia (2009) Amy Adams and Meryl Streep
Jumping the Broom (2011) Paula Patton and Laz Alonso
Just Married (2003) Ashton Kutcher and Brittany Murphy
Life As We Know It (2010) Katherine Heigl and Josh Duhamel
Longtime Companion (1989) Stephen Caffrey and Patrick Cassidy
Love and Other Drugs (2010) Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway
Marley and Me (2008) Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston
Meet the Fockers (2004) Ben Stiller and Robert De Niro
Monster-in-Law (2005) Jennifer Lopez and Michael Vartan
Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2007) Martin Henderson and Jordana Brewster
Obsessed (2009) Beyoncé Knowles and Idris Elba
Something’s Gotta Give (2003) Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton
Surviving Christmas (2004) Ben Affleck and Christina Applegate
Sweet Home Alabama (2002) Reese Witherspoon and Patrick Dempsey
Sweet November (2001) Keanu Reeves and Charlize Theron
Terms of Endearment (1983) Shirley MacLaine and Debra Winger
The Five-year Engagement (2012) Jason Segel and Emily Blunt
The Back-up Plan (2010) Jennifer Lopez and Alex O’Loughlin
The Big Wedding (2013) Robert De Niro and Diane Keaton
The Bounty Hunter (2010) Jennifer Aniston and Gerald Butler
The Break-up (2006) Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn
The Campaign (2012) Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis
The Door in the Floor (2004) Jeff Bridges and Kim Basinger
The Glass House (2001) Diane Lane and Leelee Sobieski
The Good Girl (2002) Jennifer Aniston and Jake Gyllenhaal
The Horse Whisperer (1998) Robert Redford and Kristin Scott Thomas
The Marriage Chronicles (2012) Jazsmin Lewis and Darrin Dewitt Henson
The Mirror Has Two Faces (1996) Barbra Streisand and Jeff Bridges
The Money Pit (1986) Tom Hanks and Shelley Long
The Notebook (2004) Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams
The Story of Us (1999) Bruce Willis and Michelle Pfeiffer
Think Like a Man (2012) Chris Brown and Gabrielle Union
True Lies (1994) Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jamie Lee Curtis
Unfaithful (2002) Richard Gere and Diane Lane
Waiting to Exhale (1995) Whitney Houston and Angela Bassett
Wanderlust (2012) Jennifer Aniston and Paul Rudd
What Lies Beneath (2000) Harrison Ford and Michelle Pfeiffer
When a Man Loves a Woman (1994) Meg Ryan and Andy Garcia
Why Did I Get Married? (2007) Tyler Perry and Janet Jackson
You, Me and Dupre (2006) Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson
(3) Even MORE films suggested by Dr Rogge but not used in the study
A Star Is Born (1954) Judy Garland and James Mason
Adam’s Rib (1949) Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn
Anna Karenina (2012) Keira Knightley and Jude Law
As Good as it Gets (1997) Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt
Barefoot in the Park (1967) Robert Redford and Jane Fonda
Children of a Lesser God (1986) William Hurt and Marlee Matlin
Days of Wine and Roses (1962) Jack Lemmon and Lee Remick
Desk Set (1957) Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn
Dying Young (1991) Julia Roberts and Campbell Scott
Fools Rush In (1997) Matthew Perry and Salma Hayek
Forget Paris (1995) Billy Crystal and Debra Winger
French Twist (1995) Patrick Aubrée and Josiane Balasko
Funny Girl (1968) Barbra Streisand and Omar Sharif
Gone With the Wind (1939) Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh
Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner (1967) Spencer Tracy and Sidney Poitier
Hanover Street (1979) Harrison Ford and Lesley-Anne Down
Husbands and Wives (1992) Woody Allen and Mia Farrow
Indecent Proposal (1993) Robert Redford and Demi Moore
Jungle Fever (1991) Wesley Snipes and Anna Sciorra
Love Jones (1997) Larenz Tate and Nia Long
Love Story (1970) Ali MacGraw and Ryan O’Neal
Made for Each Other (1939) Carole Lombard and James Stewart
Mississippi Masala (1991) Denzel Washington and Sarita Choudhury
Move Over, Darling (1963) Doris Day and James Garner
Mr. Blandings Builds his Dreamhouse (1948) Cary Grant and Myrna Loy
My Favorite Wife (1940) Irene Dunne and Cary Grant
Nina Takes a Lover (1994) Laura San Giacomo and Paul Rhys
Nine Months (1995) Hugh Grant and Julianne Moore
On Golden Pond (1981) Katharine Hepburn and Henry Fonda
Pat and Mike (1952) Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn
Penny Serenade (1941) Cary Grant and Irene Dunne
Phffft [Pfft!] (1954) Judy Holliday and Jack Lemmon
Red Firecracker, Green Firecracker (1994) Jing Ning and Gang Wu
She’s Having a Baby (1988) Kevin Bacon and Elizabeth McGovern
Steel Magnolias (1989) Shirley MacLaine and Olympia Dukakis
Terms of Endearment (1983) Shirley MacLaine and Debra Winger
The Devil’s Advocate (1997) Keanu Reeves and Al Pacino
The Egg and I (1947) Claudette Colbert and Fred MacMurray
The Male Animal (1942) Henry Fonda and Olivia de Havilland
The Out of Towners (1999) Steve Martin and Goldie Hawn
The Thin Man (1934) William Powell and Myrna Loy
The Way We Were (1973) Barbara Streisand and Robert Redford
Untamed Heart (1993) Christian Slater and Marisa Tomei
When a Man Loves a Woman (1994) Meg Ryan and Andy Garcia
Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966) Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton
With Six You Get Eggroll (1968) Doris Day and Brian Keith
Yours, Mine and Ours (2005) Dennis Quaid and Renne Russo
Relationship counselling and couples therapy resources
I especially like this exercise – it’s creative:
- Snuggle up, discuss films, save your relationship
- [This page.] Romantic film lists for the couples self-help movie exercise
Other resources:
- Fighting is not compulsory – first aid for couples conflicts
- Don’t complain about feelings, request actions
- “You Colour Me” by Pocket Universe – deepen your relationship via pop songs
- “Love, look at the two of us” – deepen your relationship via pop songs
- “Your true colours are beautiful” – deepen your relationship via pop songs
- If it doesn’t work, DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT
- Barefoot stress counsellor: a solution-oriented self-help tool
- Actually helpful relationship self-help books, a short list
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