Adele’s River Lea: Finding love, but not letting love in

Finding love but not letting love in: Adele’s River Lea

Adele’s River Lea  is one of the rare songs where the protagonist talks about herself. It’s not, as most pop songs are,  just about her emotions.  It’s about her internal choices and what she’s learning about herself.

From the point of view of real relationships, most pop songs have a big flaw. They focus on the other person, and on how the other person causes the singer to feel. The other is loyal – the singer feels happy and concludes the other person is good. The other leaves or cheats – the singer is unhappy, and concludes the other is bad. Sure, that’s one part of life. But with most pop songs it’s all there is. And life contains the VERY important part where you learn about YOURSELF, not the other person.

Life isn’t just about finding love on the outside. It’s about having the courage – oh, it takes courage – that when love is there, you make the choice to open up your vulnerability to let love in.

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That’s meditation?! – La Roux, In For The Kill

That’s meditation?! –  La Roux, In For The Kill

In for the kill
by Elly Jackson (La Roux)

This song doesn’t sound like meditation, it certainly does not. But it is; at least if you get rid of the idea that meditation means sitting quietly still. Instead think of meditation as “choiceless awareness of life”. Then, this is a song with a certain kind of quality of meditation to it.

In any case, this is definitely a “pop song with truth.” That’s simply because the protagonist isn’t singing about needing or getting or losing the other person; she’s singing about herself. She’s celebrating herself even in getting rejected by the other person. That fact in itself makes this different from 99% of pop songs.

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“You Colour Me” by Pocket Universe – deepen your relationship via pop songs

You Colour Me by Pocket Universe – deepen your relationship via pop songs

Here’s a simple exercise to make your relationship deeper.  Listen with your partner to this track (You Color Me by Pocket Universe) – a woman laying it on the line about not being seen straight. Then talk with your beloved about seeing the real person that he or she is, and letting yourself be seen. That’s it, listen and share, and your relating will move a step towards deeper intimacy. 

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“Love, look at the two of us” – deepen your relationship via pop songs

Love, look at the two of us  – deepen your relationship via pop songs

Here’s a fun exercise to make your relationship deeper.  Listen with your partner to “For all we know”, famously covered by the Carpenters. Then talk about it; I’ve also suggested an exercise you could do. That’s it, listen and share, and your relating will move a step towards deeper intimacy.  (More relationship posts /  more  pop songs of truth and love)

I got the idea from some great research by Dr. Ron Rogge that newly-wed couples can halve their divorce rate simply by watching and discussing five movies about everyday relating.  I don’t claim any such dramatic results for this playlist of pop songs. But listen together to these tracks, discuss them together, and you will at the least have a more loving understanding of each other.

Click here for all “pop songs with truth” posts   ♦   Click here for all relationship and couples posts   ♦    Click here for  all radical meditation posts (more…)

“Your true colours are beautiful” – deepen your relationship via pop songs

Your true colours are beautiful – deepen your relationship via pop songs

Here’s a fun exercise to make your relationship deeper.  Listen with your partner to Your True Colours are Beautiful by Cindy Lauper, then talk about your true colours; I’ve suggested some topics. That’s it, listen and share, and your relating will move a step towards deeper intimacy.  (More relationship posts /  more  pop songs of truth and love) (more…)

“Thank you for hearing me” – deepen your relationship via pop songs

Hawking gratitudeThank you for hearing me – deepen your relationship via pop songs

Here’s a simple and fun exercise to make your relationship deeper.  Listen  with your beloved to Sinead O’Connor singing about gratitude. Then share together things you are grateful about. That’s it, listen and share, and your relating will move a step towards deeper intimacy. 

I got the idea from some great research by Dr. Ron Rogge that newly-wed couples can halve their divorce rate simply by watching and discussing five movies about everyday relating.  I don’t claim any such dramatic results for this playlist of pop songs. But listen together to these tracks, discuss them together, and you will at the least have a more loving understanding of each other. (more…)

Following your inner voice: Peter Gabriel’s Solsbury Hill

Following your inner voice: Peter Gabriel’s Solsbury Hill

This is the first of a series of posts on changing your life, as illustrated by pop songs. Today: following your inner voice, illustrated by Peter Gabriel’s wonderful Walking up on Solsbury Hill. 

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