Individual Psychotherapy Bristol
I’m a psychotherapist in Bristol with 25 years experience helping individuals and couples with issues of all sorts.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear in that we are powerful beyond measure.”
– Marianne Williamson, Return To Love
Perhaps you’ve make a clear decision to begin therapy, or maybe exploring if therapy is what you need. In either case I hope the information here will help you decide if I may be the right therapist for you – and you are very welcome to have a no-charge no-obligation half hour meeting to find out more.
There’s a short issues list down the page, but all you need is to feel “Something in my life needs to change”. You don’t have to have a defined specific issue. And you don’t need, as some people feel, an issue important enough to “merit” therapy.
I’m an integrative psychodynamic therapist and I have 25 years experience helping people with a wide range of issues.
Psychodynamic means that I work with intent to bring healing to the underlying life patterns and repeating emotions that limit how we live – the prisons of belief and assumption that hold back our creativity, the fears that hold back our hearts, the childhood and adult wounds that cloud our relationships.
Integrative means that I don’t belong to one school of therapy, but have trained in a range of approaches and draw on different methods as needed. These pages have more information how I work and an overview of various therapies.
Beyond my experience as a therapist, I’ve been a seeker my entire life. On that journey I’ve explored many methods of personal development and meditation. Based on that lifetime of experience I’ve come to a conclusion about the secret of therapeutic healing, and that is what I base my work on.
It’s simple: I believe the best in people.
I believe the best in people
I have a trust that the wellsprings of love and strength, of action and of acceptance, are present in everyone. They don’t fundamentally need to be created; they basically need to be recognised, affirmed, and believed in.
Our painful feelings, our negative beliefs, are powerful. But from the viewpoint of meditation, these are at root bad dreams. Very convincing bad dreams; but not truths of our basic nature. Behind those bad dreams our essence qualities remains intact.
Intact, yes, but commonly our buried essence qualities are also scared of attack, scorn, rejection, compulsion; very afraid they will be unlovable. Therapy has to meet these hurt parts gently. To come alive again, these qualities need above all to feel safe.
Of course this journey may take time, with confronting truths to be faced and at times major changes to make. But I have the same trust that everyone has as essence qualities the courage, honesty and self-trust to go on that journey and deal with those realities.
The How I Work section explains what in my experience creates psychotherapeutic healing. The Resources section has explanations of some of the therapy methods I use or have learned from, some self-help resources, and a few lighthearted things.
A small handful of common patterns
Many issues fall under some common patterns, and here are a few. Of course in reality these overlap and are not separate.
- Simple and so common: the feeling “I’m not enough.” Or variations such as I’m not interesting, I’m not worthy, I’m shameful, not good enough … Issues that on the surface look quite different such as anxiety or depression routinely have lack of self-esteem and self-belief at their root.
- Unconscious parts of ourselves holding pain, fear and anger from traumatic events or periods of our life. These manifest in all sorts of powerful and disturbing negative thoughts, panics, anxieties, avoidances, strange or unwise behaviours or addictions.
- Shadow parts. Shadow energies are parts of ourselves the we regard as not-me, and which don’t form part of our identity and how we feel about ourselves. A common one is anger, where someone has an identity or view of themselves that “I’m always calm, always compassionate.” Another is when someone feels “Needs, me? – I don’t need much.” Sexuality as such is less commonly a shadow energy that it used to be, but specific things that people want to experience are often so.
- Thought/emotion/behaviour patterns from stages of childhood. Lack of the right love at the right time in childhood doesn’t just mean childhood was unhappy. Specific patterns are created depending on age. There more about this under Neo-Reichian body types, but here are example from different stages from in the womb to age 6-plus. Patterns such as these are completely unconscious and we have no idea we are living life on this basis.
- People are frightening and it’s safer to live in my head.
- I can’t live without people’s support and I’m angry I don’t get it.
- If I open my heart, I’ll be wounded or betrayed. I’ll protect my heart by being charming or by dominating.
- People will make me do things or make me powerless by laughing at me. I’ll show a Yes but live out a No.
- See me! Why does no one see me? ● I love to achieve, achieve, achieve. I never stop. ● I do everything the correct way that society approves of.
Questions – length & number of sessions etc
Actual questions from clientsHalf-hour preliminary meeting: Both for individuals and couples, there’s no charge and no obligation. Please contact me here to arrange one.
For individual therapy: The first session is two hours, £140-00. All subsequent sessions are one and a half hours, £105-00. The time in between is up to you, and most people choose three or four weeks.
For couples: Length of sessions is the same as for individuals. The first session is two hours, £210. Subsequent sessions are 1.5 hours, £155.
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- The time between sessions is up to you and is not meant to be weekly. Mostly people choose three or four weeks.
- There is no commitment to a fixed number of sessions.
- Fees are payable before each session by bank transfer ie by phone banking. I don’t take credit cards.
For both couples and individuals, the first session is 2 hours, and the rest are 1.5 hours.
I offer a free choice of time between sessions, and mostly people choose three or four weeks. That’s subject to availability; if booking from one session to the next, I can’t guarantee the preferred time will be free. However we can work round this and ensure the preferred time by pencilling in two or three sessions ahead.
Payment is by BACS ie mobile banking, session by session, in advance of the appointment.
My office hours are:
Monday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday – closed.
Subject to availability, possible appointment hours are:
11:30-1:00 on Tuesday and Thursday (but not Wednesday)
2:30 – 4:00 on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday
4:30 – 6:00 on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday
7:00-8:30 pm on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday
To fit in the first, 2-hour, appointment I extend these hours like this: the three daytime slots start half and hour earlier, and the evening slot ends half an hour later (ie 7:00 – 9:00 pm.)
My therapy model is a burst of sessions, rather than long term continuing. Roughly half of individual clients come for 5 – 10 sessions and roughly half of couples come for 4 – 8 sessions. You should get a sense of how things are going after the first couple of sessions. A few individuals do come for longer, some for a dozen or a few up to 20 or 24 sessions.
It goes without saying I don’t mean that all or any problems can be healed in that time. Rather, my model is to turn the corner which life is inviting you to turn in the present moment. That could be a huge or a small corner. There may or may not be other corners to turn in the future.
There’s no commitment to any fixed number of sessions. You get a free choice of time between sessions, and most people choose three or four weeks, or sometimes fortnightly just to start off with (all subject to my diary).
Prior to starting we have a half hour initial meeting. There is no charge for this and no obligation. Please contact me here to arrange one.
My office is 7, Unity St BS1 5HH. This is the road at the bottom of Park St directly opposite College Green with a pizza place on the left hand corner and a Cafe Restore on the right hand corner. If you’re driving, the low-level exit from Trenchard St is only a couple of hundred yards away.
No. There’s no need for a specific issue. It’s enough something needs to be different.
This question sounds strange, but people ask it a lot. What they mean is do I just do “conversational” therapy which is like an ordinary conversation but deeper.
The answer is no. I use many processes and methods of enquiry.
I put this question in quotes because everyone who asks knows this is unanswerable and no therapist could ever say Yes. What it actually means is: How normal am I? Are my problems normal ones for therapists? Are my issues permanently crippling, or are they too trivial to deserve help, do other people cope easily with worse things? Am I weird? We live in an isolating world. It’s easy to be so alone with our hurts and fears that we’ve no way to know such things.
Statistically, most people who come to me do have the general range of issues that everyday therapists commonly work with and to that extent I can give that re-assurance. If something is outside my experience or training I say so.
Online sessions work, and can work very well. But I am reluctant to work only online with no face to face meetings.
If you work only online then over a period a subtle something is lost. With some clients I’ve done a long run of online sessions and then met in person, and both myself and the people involved felt more effectiveness working face to face.
I’m open to do a mixture of in-person and online, and please ask. Even then, I find couples sessions where myself and the two people are in three different locations do not work. I don’t do these at all.
Yes, if you’d like to write something down you’re welcome. Just ask and I’ll give you a clipboard.
My work is certainly trauma informed, and has been so since long before the phrase gained currency. Exceedingly simplified: overwhelming shock events, or toxic continuing situations, or toxic climates in childhood cause a combination of “split-off” parts of the mind (sounds terrible but it’s normal); terror; hugely painful but fundamentally mistaken feelings that a person is shameful or unlovable; or similar feelings about the world eg You can’t trust anyone, or Only achievement matters.
Again exceedingly simplified, something these hurt and cut-off parts have in common is that they need to be approached super-gently, first building up a feeling of respect and safety. And then somehow communicating to the hurt of cut-off part that the bad times are over and the world is safe and OK. There are many ways to do this but (sometimes without emphasising them) gentle safety and communication with the unconscious mind are factors they have in common.
Your kindness does you credit but no, anyone who wants an appointment needs to contact me directly.
I don’t work with people of undergraduate age or younger. Students typically need some kind of weekly support, but my sessions are three or four weeks apart. This fits badly with the university term. In addition the transition from the small world of school to the big world of university has some specialised aspects that I have no training in.
I don’t do single sessions of this or any type of therapy, though I’ll probably do one or more constellations with most clients.
There may be deep emotions involved in over- and under-eating (not always). But it is highly unlikely that change of behaviours and weight loss/gain will result directly from feelings-based therapy such as I do. The emotional healing is real, but does not directly convert to change in eating habits.
Instead, change of habits needs a combination of nutritional change and/or ongoing support and/or CBT-mindfulness types of intervention. I have no training in this area. In addition one-hour weekly sessions are better and I don’t do those.
Of course emotions are deeply involved in eating issues, and it may be that CBT/mindfulness etc interventions are difficult or even impossible without emotional healing. I’m happy to work with the emotions, but this wouldn’t be enough on its own.
Attachment theory is good but I use a different system of understanding which covers the same ground in a different way, and much more. This is the body-based characterology originated by Wilhelm Reich and Alexander Lowen. A good popular book is The 5 Personality Patterns by Steven Kessler . I’ve been fortunate to have trained extensively with one of the world’s most experienced experts in this approach to understanding people, Moumina Jeffs. It’s extremely useful and it’s one of the pillars of how I work.
There’s easy parking in Trenchard St multistorey. The low-level exit is only a couple of hundred yards walk from my office.
There are bike racks in the street, and you can also bring the bike up a few steps into the downstairs lobby.
“If I treat you as though you are already what you are capable of becoming, I help you become that. Goethe”
– Goethe
Individual psychotherapy in Bristol for issues including
Depressed ● Feeling anxious ● Part of life isn’t working ● Feeling no good / not enough ● Recurrently unhappy ● Trauma ● Conflict with your family ● Painful loss ● Feeling an imposter ● Fearing rejection ● Feeling lost ● Your life feels meaningless ● Divorce/separation ● Can’t find your next step ● Can’t make your next step ● Being a parent ● In a major transition ● Fear of being alone ● Negative thinking you can’t stop ● You feel you can’t cope ● Conflicts with your partner ● Repeating relationship patterns ● Painful breakup ● Feeling shame ● Blocked by fear ● Can’t say No ● You are overwhelmed ● Something’s wrong but you can’t put into words what it is ● You just need to talk to someone without being judged.
“Your love for the other, your ability to love another person, depends on your ability to love yourself. If you are not able to give love to yourself, if you are not able to accept yourself, how could you accept another person and how could you love him or her? Thích Nhất Hạnh”
– Thich Nhat Hanh
Useful Resources
Solution-oriented therapy (Insoo Kim Berg, Steve De Shazer)
Solution-oriented Therapy (SOT/SOBT) looks for the evidence you are OK, deserve to love yourself, are…
The barefoot stress counsellor: a solution-oriented self-help tool
This is a good self-help technique which is different and effective. Its a series of…