Applies to everyone: Adele’s River Lea

“But my heart is a valley, it’s so shallow and manmade
I’m scared to death if I let you in that you’ll see I’m just a fake”

Adele River Lea

There’s a relationship stage that’s frightening and often makes people fear they are breaking up. But the good news – good – is that it’s inevitable. There’s NOTHING wrong with it, and it’s actually really valuable.

The term I use is the Would You Still Love Me If You Knew My Real Self? stage. You’ve danced and dated, talked and connected, had amazing sex. You’ve shared adventures. Now you’re settled together; maybe there’s that joy “I’ve found The One.” But now, developing the relationship needs you to be real. Real about your needs, your boundaries, things that hurt you, things that you long to receive, or perhaps above all things that you long to give.

And this is frightening. Every single one of us in some way or other had childhood experience that make us feel unlovable – not enough, not worthy, despicably weak if we even have needs, let alone show them. But in love relationships we long to bring our full self to be fully loved and to fully give love. Exactly as the protagonist of River Lea says:

But my heart is a valley, it’s so shallow and manmade
I’m scared to death if I let you in that you’ll see I’m just a fake.

One way or another, we all have this fear. The only answer is self love, self trust. You’ll have to find that at some point in your life. This moment in time, with this partner, could be the perfect moment.

“Gratefulness is heaven itself. ”
– William Blake

“Working with Andrew was an incredibly deep, profound and life changing experience. I went to Andrew thinking I needed to be cured of loving the love of my life – thankfully this didn’t happen. I cannot thank or recommend Andrew highly enough – the changes that can occur when working with Andrew truly are magic! ”
Ali Lees, Google review

“We started seeing Andrew during a very difficult time, and without his help we would have split up. We both found Andrew’s sessions really helpful and it gave us the insight and tools to iron out the issues that were causing the most problems. Things between us are now really good and we are once again planning a future together.”
Couple who wish anonymity

“I have made some incredible progress and I am now in an intimate and happy relationship thanks to your help.”
Client who requests anonymity.

“Andrew is a highly experienced therapist who works with a number of different techniques, some unusual and unexpected (but in a good way!) that get to the heart of your issues quickly. He works gently and safely and I felt held in a safe space throughout the session. I would recommend Andrew to anyone looking for help in dealing with life’s questions. ”
Client who requests anonymity.

“ Andrew is an amazing human being! We had a few very useful sessions. He is totally and genuinely committed to helping people. … Thank you Andrew! ”
Pedro Da Silva, Google review

“… I had experienced a lot of trauma in my childhood that I had not been able to fully deal with my whole adult life. I had 10 sessions with Andrew and now I am no longer triggered as I had always been by certain situations and interactions. I can love myself finally and this has completely changed my romantic relationships and my career! So many of my friends want to see Andrew now after seeing this dramatic, positive change within me! ”
Kay Dent, Google review

“I am finally comfortable with myself and at peace with past experiences. I highly recommend Andrew. He is a true soul healer. ”
Mal Szwarc, Google review

“Had a massive effect on my relationship. Learned loads of really good stuff – surpassed my expectations. [Andrew was] brilliant – a complete star! Emma C ♥♥♥ A very good course. It has changed how I relate. Helen D ♥♥♥ [Andrew had some] … profound insights into relationships … explained clearly. Natasha M ♥♥♥ Met needs I didn’t know I had! I loved the fast-track approach to raising self-esteem … [I had] “eureka” and “lights being switched on” moments. Fiona M. ♥♥♥ Very profound, enriching unravelling of the complexities of relationships. Really enlightening exercises. [Name withheld] ”
Feedback from the last relationship workshop I ran in Bristol.

“[Couples clients] Cannot recommend Andrew enough. The most attentive, insightful, astute & compassionate therapist. The difference in our relationship – how we communicate, how we understand & relate to one another, how we’re able to support one another – is absolutely massive, & yet it feels like we’ve only had to make tiny tweaks to get there. Andrew is incredible at facilitating a safe, supportive place, making it surprisingly easy to be truly open & honest & to therefore get the most out of the sessions. Thank you for everything, this therapy has been life changing. ”
Naomi Kent, Google review

“Andrew is one of the best therapists I have ever worked with. He really listens. I feel deeply heard and understood in his sessions and have the space to discover ‘the answers’ for myself. The questions he asks and the comments he does offer are well thought-out and illuminating. I feel he is really there for me and I always experience a big shift in my understanding afterwards. If you want to make a breakthrough with an issue in your life or simply want to be heard, I highly recommend him. Jenny, massage therapist, Bristol. ”
Jenny, massage therapist, Bristol.

“I’ve had many therapists over the years, and Andrew has been the most significant to date. He helped me see my life more clearly, he lifted a vale of confusion. I will forever be grateful to Andrew, and have recommended him to multiple people since working together. ”
Holly Smith, Google review

“Andrew is one of the best therapists I have ever worked with. If you want to make a breakthrough with an issue in your life or relationship, I highly recommend him.”
Jenny, Massage therapist, Bristol